Keeping up with the Kiddos
To preface this blog post, I have been working with children for about a decade and have seen all sorts of personalities, ages and energy levels. There are many different philosophies when it comes to working with children and those can have benefits and drawbacks depending on the setting and the background of the child you’re working with. In my music therapy internship, I have continued to work with many populations including children, and my previous experience has helped me to engage with them and have fun in session.
Here are some rules (in the style of Banding Together’s Rules of Jam Session: the World Tour Edition) to follow when working with children:
These rules are taught during the social skit part of our Jam Sessions:
Here’s a song I wrote during my internship that we played during those sessions:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1zP1Mee0clmx4OXcJaI1XptscH0EmamhE/view?usp=sharing
For more information about Banding Together you can visit: https://bandingtogethersd.org/what-we-do/jam-sessions/
- Respect
You are a role model for your students/clients. Show that you have respect for them and their independence. If you do talk about them to their parents after the session, be sure to include them in the conversation even if they are just playing with toys to the side. Even if it appears they are not listening, most often, they are aware of the things going on in their environment. If it is a topic that contains more sensitive information, it may be better suited for a short phone call or email after the session.
- Listen
Everything is communication. Even a non-answer is communication. Pay attention as you engage with your client. Children tend to have less of a filter than adults so they will more often be open and honest with how they are feeling. Listen to that and acknowledge their feelings. Tie in your interventions to help them process and honor their feelings. This could look like providing a sensory break after they appear to be dysregulated during a book activity, or providing a song that helps deal with difficult emotions such as “Grizzly Bear Grump” by Stephanie Leavell (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfetTpH7YIA). If you are listening, more often than not, you can catch a behavior before it escalates into something more intense. Of course, this is not always the case, but listening will still benefit you greatly in working with children.
- Take turns
Music therapy is a collaborative process. It is important to have the structure of session plans and repertoire provided, but if possible, give them the opportunity to pick what’s next on the schedule. Give them a chance to choose which song they want to listen to or play. Taking turns shows that you’re aware of them in the session and as a bonus, it may also tie in to some social or cognitive skills you want them to practice. The practice of taking turns can help us be more flexible and give up control. Some of our students may struggle with this. Explore fun ways to practice this flexibility by using an app or online program such as the picker wheel (https://pickerwheel.com/) or rolling a dice with choices.
- Share
Energy levels are a big factor in working with children. We all know that children can have a lot of energy. Regardless of the amount of energy you have, you can still work with children as long as you recognize how to balance energy levels. The way you structure your sessions can affect the flow of the session. Where are you putting the more demanding tasks? Are you creating a space/time to calm down after the increased demand? Look at the flow of your session and see where the energy increases and then dips. Allow for these natural changes in energy to come. This can look like offering a sensory break if it looks like your client needs it. Remember to check in with yourself. How are your energy levels? Energy is an exchange, you do not need to fight against the energy of your client. You can work with it and flow with it too. Choose your battle and be careful to not to fight for control over every aspect of the session. If they want to play an instrument sitting on the ground instead of at the table, remember their goals and as long as it’s in line with those goals, then that’s okay. Remember the purpose of what you’re trying to do. Are you trying to get them to sit down at the table or do you want them to engage and play the instrument? It’s okay to compromise. It’s okay to share. Remember to follow through if you have both agreed on a compromise.
- Have fun
My favorite rule and the most important rule of working with children (or any population in general) is that if you are not having fun, they are not having fun. Of course, this does not mean to go to the extreme and only do things you find fun. It means to enjoy the work you are doing. Be present with your client and show them that even work can be enjoyable. Play. Don’t take yourself too seriously. At the end of the day, the way you feel about your work and perhaps even the music therapy field itself is reflected in the small successes and fun moments that happened throughout the day.
There will always be good days and difficult days when working with children. Remember that progress will not always be linear and things will not always go to according to your (session) plan, but if you lean in to the needs, energy, and behavior of your client, your session will go smoother.
Respectfully (and have fun),
Eric Amparo, Music Therapy Intern
